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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Spotted on TikTok:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Trending via Reddit:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Just landed via Slack:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Just shared via WeChat:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.
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Commentary:
Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that's an interesting thought, here's six billion more. 🧠💭💤 When your brain hits you with a late-night brainstorming session just as you're drifting off to dreamland… Thanks, brain, but can we reschedule this meeting for, oh, never? 😂🌙 #OveractiveBrain #LateNightMusings

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Instagram this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

52 shares on X this month:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I overthink, therefore I am.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Seen just now on Threads:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

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