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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

33 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Just landed via Slack:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Going viral on Twitch:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Trending via Instagram:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Reported on WeChat:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Just landed via Reddit:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

6 months ago

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

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Commentary:
Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that's an interesting thought, here's six billion more. 🧠💭💤 When your brain hits you with a late-night brainstorming session just as you're drifting off to dreamland… Thanks, brain, but can we reschedule this meeting for, oh, never? 😂🌙 #OveractiveBrain #LateNightMusings

billion, body, brain, distraction, humor, insomnia, overthinking, six, sleep, thought, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

33 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Spotted on YouTube:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Trending via Messenger:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Making waves on Discord:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Seen just now on Slack:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Freshly posted on X:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Just shared via Messenger:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

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