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Commentary:
Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that's an interesting thought, here's six billion more. 🧠💭💤 When your brain hits you with a late-night brainstorming session just as you're drifting off to dreamland… Thanks, brain, but can we reschedule this meeting for, oh, never? 😂🌙 #OveractiveBrain #LateNightMusings

billion, body, brain, distraction, humor, insomnia, overthinking, six, sleep, thought, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

1 month ago
6th, 6th grade, ask, back, grade, hobby, humor, i, interest, life, lost, me, please, sarcasm, teenage, teenage years, year’s
Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

1 month ago
buy, diet, disappointment, donut, donuts, food, grocery, hate, home, humor, realize, shopping, surprise, veggie
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

4 weeks ago
betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction
I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

1 month ago
belief, humor, miracle, observation, religion, skepticism, someone, water, wine
I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

1 month ago
advertising, commercial, commercials, dance, describe, drug, drug commercial, effect, humor, i, medication, side, side effect, too
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

2 months ago
analogy, blender, chaos, childhood, humor, old, parenting, toddler, top

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Spotted on Threads:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Making waves on WeChat:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

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Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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