Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Going viral on Instagram:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Just landed via WeChat:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Just shared via WeChat:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Just shared via WeChat:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Reported on Pinterest:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Seen just now on Slack:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

6 months ago

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that's an interesting thought, here's six billion more. 🧠💭💤 When your brain hits you with a late-night brainstorming session just as you're drifting off to dreamland… Thanks, brain, but can we reschedule this meeting for, oh, never? 😂🌙 #OveractiveBrain #LateNightMusings

billion, body, brain, distraction, humor, insomnia, overthinking, six, sleep, thought, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Going viral on TikTok:

In banana years, I am bread.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Live now on Threads:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Just landed via Twitch:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴