By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

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Commentary:
"By the authority of Facebook, the mighty unfriender and restrictor, let this virtual drama unfold! 💥💔💩 Who knew social media could have such dramatic power plays? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Friendship Frenzy!' 😂👋"