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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Going viral on Instagram:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Live now on Messenger:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Just landed via Slack:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Making waves on Telegram:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

2 months ago

0

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"By the authority of Facebook, the mighty unfriender and restrictor, let this virtual drama unfold! 💥💔💩 Who knew social media could have such dramatic power plays? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Friendship Frenzy!' 😂👋"

butt, Facebook, humor, i, kiss, me, media, power, relationship, restricted, social, social media, unfriended

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, before, conduct, digital, digital interaction, exit, exit interview, humor, i, interaction, interview, me, media, online, online humor, pretty, social, social media, someone, unfollow
There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

0

2 months ago

children, class, family, first class, humor, parenting, travel, travel class
Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

0

2 months ago

bro, dental, dentist, humor, joke, observation, question, right, take, teeth, x-ray
Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

0

2 months ago

activity, boyfriend, fun, humor, let, nature, outside, rain, relationship, sarcasm
Another fine day ruined by waking up.

0

2 months ago

another, day, disappointment, fine, humor, irony, morning, ruined, sleep, waking
Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

0

2 months ago

certainty, death, face, grocery, grocery store, humor, magazine, Princess Diana, store, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

71 shares on Discord this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

86 shares on X this month:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Live now on Threads:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Making waves on YouTube:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Shared recently on Discord:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Just landed via Threads:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

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