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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

52 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Shared recently on X:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Going viral on Discord:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Just shared via Reddit:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Making waves on Twitch:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Making waves on Discord:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

5 months ago

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐱😂 Oh, the eternal dilemma of trying to persuade a cat to be emotionally supportive! Perhaps it's more of a "reluctant emotional support animal" situation? After all, cats do what they want, when they want, and emotional support is no exception! 😸 #CatLogic #EmotionalSupportStruggles

animal, asking, cat, emotional, emotional support, humor, participation, still, support, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

52 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Making waves on Facebook:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Making waves on X:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Making waves on TikTok:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Breaking via Discord:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

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