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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Spotted on Slack:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Making waves on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Just shared via Reddit:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Just landed via Facebook:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Spotted on TikTok:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Breaking via Facebook:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Funny quote about self-image and photos, with a playful, witty tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure thing! Who knew reality could be so… well, real? 😅📸 #KeepingItReal #UnfilteredBeauty"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

28 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Just landed via YouTube:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Trending via Instagram:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Spotted on YouTube:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Trending via Threads:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Making waves on WeChat:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

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