Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Spotted on Telegram:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Going viral on Twitch:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Shared recently on Discord:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Seen just now on X:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Spotted on WeChat:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure thing! Who knew reality could be so… well, real? 😅📸 #KeepingItReal #UnfilteredBeauty"

delete, exactly, humor, i, life, looks, me, photo, real, real life, self-image

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

2 months ago

absurdity, am, email, escape, filled, funny response, humor, i, making, message, pockets, procrastination, response, sea, stones, thanks, unfortunately
Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

2 months ago

always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why
My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

2 weeks ago

after, blue, bonnie, Bonnie Blue, comparison, here, humor, laundry, load, machine, over, taking, washing, washing machine
I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

2 months ago

animal, animal communication, back, barrier, cat, cats, communication, effort, English, humor, i, joke, just, language, language barrier, language joke, making, meowing, quirky, show, tried
Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

2 months ago

celestial, galaxy, humor, joke, Nasa, playful, selfie, selfie humor, space, star
When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

2 months ago

catching, clumsiness, competition, dropping, event, humor, me, Olympics, phone, shine, sport

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

67 shares on X this month:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Spreading quickly via X:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Going viral on Instagram:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Spotted on X:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Just shared via Instagram:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨