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Commentary:
"Ah, the powerful fragrance of regret and ashtrays! 🚬😷 It's like a stinky reminder that maybe breathing fire wasn't the best life choice. 🔥🤢 #NoSmokeNoStink"

cigarette, history, humor, opinion, smell, smells, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never trust a wet fart.

0

2 months ago

advice, caution, fart, humor, trust, wet
I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

0

2 months ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, personal, personal safety, recreational, relief, safety, smoke, stress, stress relief, weed
Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

0

2 months ago

call, fly, fly swatter, humor, insects, pun, splatula, swatter, wordplay
Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

0

5 months ago

backward, bend, bend backward, cowgirl, exorcist, humor, i, position, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, sex, sex position
I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

0

4 months ago

adult, adults, affordability, believe, disbelief, economy, history, i, most, period, unaffordable
If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

0

2 months ago

beers, consequences, debt, drank, drinking, hangover, heavy, humor, intentions, karmic, karmic debt, philosophy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Trending via Pinterest:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Going viral on Messenger:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Spotted on Facebook:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Spotted on WeChat:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Going viral on X:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Never trust a wet fart.

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨