Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The shitshow must go on.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Just shared via Reddit:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Breaking via Twitch:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

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Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
☕️ "Ah, the sweet sound of silence and the soothing aroma of coffee brewing, all whilst basking in the glory of being the only one awake! It's like a private party for your taste buds! 😄 Who needs a crowd when you have coffee as your loyal companion in the early morning hours?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

67 shares on Discord this month:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Spotted on Instagram:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Just landed via Slack:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Making waves on Slack:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Breaking via Slack:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Spotted on Telegram:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Spotted on Discord:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

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