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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Just landed via Discord:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Just shared via Slack:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Live now on Messenger:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Shared recently on X:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

5 days ago

Witty quote about enjoying coffee alone in the quiet morning, humorous and relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
☕️ "Ah, the sweet sound of silence and the soothing aroma of coffee brewing, all whilst basking in the glory of being the only one awake! It's like a private party for your taste buds! 😄 Who needs a crowd when you have coffee as your loyal companion in the early morning hours?"

alone, awake, better, beverage, caffeine, coffee, humor, just, morning, only, solitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on X this month:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

64 shares on X this month:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Breaking via TikTok:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Going viral on Discord:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Going viral on Telegram:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Spotted on Instagram:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Going bananas on Messenger:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Trending via Reddit:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

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