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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spotted on Threads:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Broadcasted on X:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Making waves on Slack:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Trending via Snapchat:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Just landed via TikTok:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Just shared via Slack:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

5 months ago

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

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Commentary:
☕️ "Ah, the sweet sound of silence and the soothing aroma of coffee brewing, all whilst basking in the glory of being the only one awake! It's like a private party for your taste buds! 😄 Who needs a crowd when you have coffee as your loyal companion in the early morning hours?"

alone, awake, better, beverage, caffeine, coffee, humor, just, morning, only, solitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Freshly posted on X:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Just landed via Reddit:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Seen just now on Reddit:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Shared recently on WeChat:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just shared via Twitch:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Shared recently on Threads:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

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