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Commentary:
"Looks like Coke Zero is playing the long game with its ambitious plan to rid the world of fizzy drinks by 2030 🥤🚫 Better stock up on your favorite sodas now before they disappear into the fizz-tory books! 😄"

2030, carbonation, coke, Coke Zero, drink, drinking, drinks, fizzy, fizzy drink, government, government pledge, humor, pledge, satire, sounds, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

2 months ago

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Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

2 months ago

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Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

14 hours ago

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Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

2 months ago

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The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

2 months ago

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I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

2 months ago

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78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

15 shares on X this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Spotted on Telegram:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Just shared via Threads:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

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Activity Log ✨

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

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