Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.
  • I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.
  • I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.
  • I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.
  • I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.