Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,878

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Seen just now on Slack:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Trending via X:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

0
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍫 "Playing a real-life game of 'Hide and Seek' with my kids – except this time, the chocolate is the master of disguise! It's like a delicious treasure hunt in reverse…or maybe I just have exceptional snack-hiding skills! 😄 #parentingadventures"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

74 shares on Slack this month:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

46 shares on Discord this month:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This book ain’t got no pictures.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Spotted on TikTok:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Shared recently on X:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Breaking via Snapchat:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Spotted on Twitch:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

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