Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Spotted on Instagram:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Just shared via TikTok:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Making waves on WeChat:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

4 weeks ago

Playful text about a parent humorously hiding chocolate from kids.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍫 "Playing a real-life game of 'Hide and Seek' with my kids – except this time, the chocolate is the master of disguise! It's like a delicious treasure hunt in reverse…or maybe I just have exceptional snack-hiding skills! 😄 #parentingadventures"

chocolate, dilemma, guilty, guilty pleasure, honesty, humor, i, kids, last, night, parenting, pleasure, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

71 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

82 shares on Threads this month:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Trending via Facebook:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Going viral on Twitch:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Breaking via X:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Just shared via Discord:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Just shared via YouTube:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Breaking via Threads:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Just landed via Instagram:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Going bananas on Slack:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Going viral on Instagram:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

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