Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Just shared via YouTube:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Live now on Twitch:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Spotted on Facebook:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Live now on YouTube:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

0
Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling like the human embodiment of a needy, jealous cat 🐱🚫 Friendship monogamy only for this one! 😂 #FriendingForeverAlone"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

41 shares on Slack this month:

I need a massage for my brain.

50 shares on X this month:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

73 shares on Threads this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

18 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

72 shares on Discord this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on YouTube:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Just landed via Discord:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Making waves on Slack:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Spotted on Slack:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴