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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Making waves on Telegram:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Making waves on Threads:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey there! Are you Black Friday, because you've got me feeling like I need to fight through crowds just to uncover your irresistible discounts! 💸🛍️ #SavageSavings"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Spotted on Facebook:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Seen just now on Discord:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Trending via TikTok:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Shared recently on Slack:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Just shared via Reddit:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Going viral on Threads:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Trending via Discord:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Reported on Slack:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

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