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Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Seen just now on Messenger:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Breaking via Threads:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Breaking via X:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Trending via Slack:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Seen just now on Threads:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about overcoming imposter syndrome by embracing incompetence, humorous and playful vibe.

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Commentary:
"Who needs imposter syndrome when you can just be proudly incompetent! 🤷‍♂️ Embracing your flaws like a boss! 💪😂 #ConfidenceGoals"

being, defeat, humor, imposter, imposter syndrome, incompetence, irony, self-awareness, syndrome

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76 shares on Facebook this month:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

88 shares on Twitch this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

51 shares on Messenger this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Just landed via Facebook:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Just shared via X:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

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Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

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Activity Log ✨

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Keep the laugh going 😂

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

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