Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.
  • I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.
  • The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.
  • I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.
  • If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.
  • Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.