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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Live now on Reddit:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about upside-down binoculars making everything seem distant and funny.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of childhood simplicity – when flipping binoculars was the closest thing to teleportation! 👀🔄 Distance felt so distant, yet so close, like a sneaky spy peeking at a world of miniatures. Those were the days! 🕵️‍♂️🌎 #UpsideDownAdventures

activity, away, binoculars, distance, everyone, fun, fun activity, memory, nice, nostalgia, perspective, remember, upside, upside down

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

24 shares on Threads this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Breaking via Threads:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Going viral on Slack:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Going viral on Discord:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

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