Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.
  • I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”
  • I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.
  • Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.
  • If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.
  • Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.