SEATTLE—Health experts across the nation are adopting a bold new approach to achieving the dream beach body just in time for summer: organ removal. “Just toss out those pesky internal organs, and you’re bikini-ready!” said Dr. Leo Trim, head of the new No Guts, No Glory initiative.

The groundbreaking method, hailed as a ‘tranquil revolution’ in weight loss, is gaining traction rapidly. “Why jog when you can simply lose those organs?” asked fitness guru Carla Leanza, who plans to host an abdomen-emptying retreat this fall. “Digestion is overrated anyway.”

While most health professionals continue to emphasize the importance of a balanced diet and exercise, some actually encourage this bizarre trend. “If my liver and kidneys are what stand between me and my goal weight, they have got to go,” exclaimed self-proclaimed ‘organless’ influencer Danny Spinney. “I’ve never felt lighter—literally!”