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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Trending via Snapchat:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Spreading quickly via X:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

2 months ago

0

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"

balance, doing, health, hour, hours, humor, irony, mental, mental health, self-care, self-destruction, self-improvement, wellness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

0

2 months ago

communication, DM, DMs, dominance, finds, hope, humor, i, interaction, message, online, private, sarcasm, social, social interaction, starting, texting, well
Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

0

2 months ago

chef, conversation, gordon, Gordon Ramsay, humor, me, only, ramsay, relationship, sarcasm, talking
I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal personality, dogs, dominance, humor, i, personality, pet, pet humor, subwoofer
Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

0

5 months ago

actually, allowed, boundary, excuse, humor, i, just, love, myself, rule, rules, self-control, sorry
“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

0

2 months ago

adulting, back, chamomile, chamomile tea, comfort, drink, gangsta, heating, heating pad, humor, i, irony, myself, pad, relaxation, self-talk, still, tea, tea time, time, whisper
I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

0

2 months ago

agree, humor, i, irony, media, much, people, please, share, social, social media, stand, validation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

24 shares on X this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

57 shares on Slack this month:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Breaking via WeChat:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Live now on TikTok:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Just landed via WeChat:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Live now on Threads:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Trending via WhatsApp:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Just landed via Threads:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

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