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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Going viral on X:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Broadcasted on X:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Making waves on Messenger:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Just landed via Reddit:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Going viral on Discord:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Seen just now on Slack:

Oh good. Another day.

Live now on Instagram:

The world started without permission again.

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

1 month ago

Humorous text about balancing self-care after a long day of chaos.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"

balance, doing, health, hour, hours, humor, irony, mental, mental health, self-care, self-destruction, self-improvement, wellness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Slack this month:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

88 shares on X this month:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Just landed via WeChat:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Trending via TikTok:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Going viral on Telegram:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Making waves on YouTube:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Going viral on WeChat:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

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