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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

400 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,669

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,669

Jan 12, 2026

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Seen just now on X:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Making waves on Instagram:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Live now on Threads:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Seen just now on Threads:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Trending via Slack:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Just landed via Threads:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

3 months ago

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"

balance, doing, health, hour, hours, humor, irony, mental, mental health, self-care, self-destruction, self-improvement, wellness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

2 months ago

amount, body, bueno, chocolate, cravings, humor, humor quote, indulgence, kinder, Kinder Bueno, listen, snack, temptation
Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

5 months ago

disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, looking, movie, name, Netflix, search, spelling, streaming, tell
Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

2 months ago

attire, casual, casual attire, fashion, fire, fuel, humor, humor quote
Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

2 months ago

age, better, decision, experience, humor, know, life, old, rebellion, wisdom, young, youth
Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

2 months ago

call, calls, distracting, everyone, finds, home, humor, office, outside, singing, video, video call, work, work from home, Zoom
My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

2 months ago

asked, chores, do-it-yourself, garbage, humor, husband, i, marriage, relationship, take, type, wit, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust a wet fart.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

400 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,669

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,669

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Breaking via WeChat:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

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