Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

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I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

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Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

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Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

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When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

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Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

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Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

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Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

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I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

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Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.