Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

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Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.