Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Spotted on Facebook:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Seen just now on X:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Just landed via TikTok:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Spotted on Facebook:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Trending via Messenger:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

0
Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, it seems this person is only accepting the most essential conversations! 🥪 Better be prepared with two slices of bread and some cured pork before attempting to engage with them. Who knew a ham sandwich could be the key to unlocking intriguing discussions? 🤔😂 #SandwichTalksOnly

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on X this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

78 shares on Discord this month:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being awake is the worst.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,813

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Going viral on Slack:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Just landed via TikTok:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Just landed via X:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Just landed via TikTok:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Live now on Slack:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴