Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

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Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

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Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

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Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

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I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

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Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

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We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

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I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

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Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

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Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

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The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.