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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Trending via Snapchat:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Seen just now on Discord:

I only drink when I people.

Trending via X:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Just landed via Facebook:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Trending via YouTube:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Breaking via TikTok:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text imagining electricians as Power Rangers, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seriously, missed opportunity there! ⚡️ Maybe they missed their chance to morph into superhero suits during those intense electrical jobs. 🔌😆 Power rangers could definitely add some flair to fixing wiring issues! 💪 #ElectricianPowerRangers"

electrician, funny observation, humor, joke, observation, okay, power, power ranger, profession, ranger, understand, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Threads this month:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

100 shares on X this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Live now on Slack:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Making waves on X:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Just landed via Discord:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Trending via YouTube:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

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