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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,923

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Trending via WeChat:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

2 months ago

0

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seriously, missed opportunity there! ⚡️ Maybe they missed their chance to morph into superhero suits during those intense electrical jobs. 🔌😆 Power rangers could definitely add some flair to fixing wiring issues! 💪 #ElectricianPowerRangers"

electrician, funny observation, humor, joke, observation, okay, power, power ranger, profession, ranger, understand, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

0

2 months ago

humor, humorous, humorous quote, independent, independent woman, irony, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, self-empowerment, strong, strong woman, woman
My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

0

2 months ago

comedy, control, everyone, family, household, humor, husband, i, joke, looking, minute, need, relationship, remote, remote control, stand, stand-up
My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

0

2 months ago

arms, bed, exercise, humor, hurt, laziness, pain, reading, workout
Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

0

2 months ago

am, appearance, confidence, gatekeeping, handsome, humor, humor about looks, i, looking, looks, self-deprecating, shit, time, vanity
Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

0

2 months ago

awake, awareness, compensation, entitlement, humor, sleep
Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, call, fauxtograph, generated, generated picture, humor, intelligence, joke, photography, picture, why, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Facebook this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

48 shares on Threads this month:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

45 shares on X this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

91 shares on Discord this month:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,864

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Making waves on Twitch:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Going bananas on Discord:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Going viral on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

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