Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Life's too short to hide the cake! 🎂 Enjoy it before your sneaky household critters beat you to it. It's a race against time and furry thieves! 🐾😂"

another, before, cake, dessert, eat, household, humor, later, mammal, procrastination, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

0

2 months ago

behavior, bragging, happiness, happy, humility, humor, keep, know, likes, sarcasm, self-control, social, social behavior, yourself
I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

0

2 months ago

favor, forehead, humor, order, people’s, sign, sticking, warning
If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

0

2 months ago

animal, cigarette, conversation, humor, pigeon, talk
Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

0

2 months ago

accessory, attitude, communication, fashion, front, got, humor, important, listen, say, shirt, something, style, sunglasses, wardrobe
My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

0

2 months ago

commit, commit crime, crime, DNA, everywhere, hair, humor, i, identity, leave, me, never, personal, personal trait, trait
Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

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2 months ago

humor, irony, news, relaxing, things, tornado

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on X this month:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Trending via Twitch:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Going viral on WeChat:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Just shared via Discord:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Just landed via Discord:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Trending via YouTube:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨