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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Going viral on YouTube:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Going viral on Discord:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Just landed via Messenger:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Making waves on X:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Humorous text advising to eat cake now before a household mammal does.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life's too short to hide the cake! 🎂 Enjoy it before your sneaky household critters beat you to it. It's a race against time and furry thieves! 🐾😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

92 shares on Threads this month:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Seen just now on Slack:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via Facebook:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Shared recently on Slack:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Trending via TikTok:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

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