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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Seen just now on Discord:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Making waves on Facebook:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Just shared via X:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Shared recently on Discord:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Going bananas on Discord:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Trending via LinkedIn:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Witty quote about love for comfort food and its humorous side effects.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Comfort food is like a warm hug for your taste buds, until it decides to give you a bear hug around your waistline! 🍔🙈 Remember, too much comfort can lead to snug pants! 😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Just shared via Threads:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Just shared via TikTok:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Freshly posted on X:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

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