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Commentary:
"When grandma picks up that wooden spoon, suddenly everyone transforms from a tough gangsta to a scaredy-cat faster than you can say 'spoon magic'! 👵🥄💥"

childhood, discipline, family, gangsta, grandma, humor, nostalgia, spoon, wooden, wooden spoon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

0

2 months ago

affect, confusion, effect, Googling, grammar, humor, incognito, internet, search, vs, window
My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

0

2 months ago

balance, body, burning, burning question, day, human, human body, leisure, leisure time, question, rest, sufficiency, thought, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance
Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

0

2 months ago

feeling, humor, life, motivation, optimism, perspective, self-esteem, sperm, winning
I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

0

2 months ago

business, dining, dislike, food, humor, i, joke, mixing, pizza, pleasure, preference, vegetables
We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

0

3 months ago

alien, before, Earth, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, need, newcomer, people, shopping, store
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

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2 months ago

ambition, ever, humor, i, kid, late, little, procrastination, wanted, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

56 shares on TikTok this month:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

89 shares on X this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Making waves on Discord:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Live now on Discord:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Just landed via WeChat:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨