Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"When grandma picks up that wooden spoon, suddenly everyone transforms from a tough gangsta to a scaredy-cat faster than you can say 'spoon magic'! 👵🥄💥"

childhood, discipline, family, gangsta, grandma, humor, nostalgia, spoon, wooden, wooden spoon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

0

1 month ago

dating, end, era, humor, ID, participant, relationship, thank
I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, evening, functioning, humor, i, morning, person, personality, pretty, sleep, start
Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

0

2 months ago

activity, funny activity, gardening, house, house plant, humor, indoor, indoor plant, light, nature, next, plant, plants, rain, window
Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

0

3 months ago

30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome
I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

0

2 months ago

bank, blood, humor, i, joke, money, pun, refusal, refuse
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

0

2 months ago

Andropov, day, driver, humor, i, joke, name, Pikup, Russian, Uber

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Just landed via X:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Just landed via Slack:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Spotted on TikTok:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Breaking via Reddit:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Trending via Instagram:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Shared recently on Threads:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Trending via Discord:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Live now on Discord:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨