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Commentary:
"Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis? 🤔 Maybe sprinkle some self-doubt and a side of philosophical pondering on top? 🤣 Don't let it go to waste, make sure to savor every anxious thought!"

absurdity, conversation, crisis, excuse, existential, existential crisis, finish, food, going, humor, irony, me, question, sir

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

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2 months ago

activity, decision, focus, fun, fun activity, humor, job, leisure, quit, quitting, summer
To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

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2 months ago

annoyance, confrontation, humor, patience, person, place, queue, revenge, theft
9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

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2 months ago

afternoon, anything, humor, maybe, morning, motivation, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, time, tomorrow
I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

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2 months ago

airport, alcohol, love, pizza, wine
Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

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2 months ago

anatomy, bones, break, heart, humor, love, pain, relationship
Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

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2 months ago

activity, allowed, depressed, depression, expression, fun, fun activity, health, humor, internet, internet activity, mental, mental health, most, nonsense, online, online expression, online humor, person, satire, times, twisted, twisted times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Going viral on Discord:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Broadcasted on X:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Going bananas on Messenger:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨