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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Live now on Instagram:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Going viral on WeChat:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Just landed via Facebook:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Failed relationships are like a budget beauty store – a lot of wasted make-up with no happy ending in sight!"

beauty, dating, failure, humor, love, make-up, makeup, relationship, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

0

2 months ago

distraction, life, media, need, overwhelm, perspective, social, social media, tweet
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

0

2 months ago

alive, Chinese, Chinese food, commercial, food, humor, i, life, once, seen
In banana years, I am bread.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, age, am, banana, bread, food, humor, i, year’s
The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

0

4 months ago

burnout, energy, even, exhaustion, fatigue, levels, reaching, stress, tiredness
Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

0

2 months ago

activity, dawn, drink, duel, dusk, good, haunt, humor, lover, lovers, morning, night, only
So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

0

1 month ago

ad, ads, company, humor, irony, pay, payment, show, subscription, YouTube

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Trending via Twitch:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Going bananas on X:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Trending via WeChat:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

In banana years, I am bread.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨