Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Spotted on Telegram:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Trending via Messenger:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Trending via Instagram:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Trending via TikTok:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about failed relationships being like wasted makeup, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Failed relationships are like a budget beauty store – a lot of wasted make-up with no happy ending in sight!"

beauty, dating, failure, humor, love, make-up, makeup, relationship, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

3 weeks ago

bad, bad luck, commute, driving, every, frustration, going, hell, hitting, humor, light, luck, red, red light, super, super talent, talent, traffic, wherever
Reincarnation, in this economy?

3 weeks ago

afterlife, economy, finance, humor, life, reincarnation, sarcasm
Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

1 week ago

activity, brave, call, date, dentist, fun, fun activity, hand, hold, humor, i, idea, me, relationship, support, tell
Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

5 days ago

around, carefree, ease, excuse, humor, humorous, humorous excuse, i, imagination, late, lateness, mind, relaxation, relief, sorry, stress, stress relief, travel, troubled, walk, wandering, world
Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

3 weeks ago

asking, awkward, awkward question, communication, conversation, dating, embarrassment, going, hear, humor, hunt, i, job, job hunt, job search, lot, promise, question, search, success
Overthinkaholic!

3 weeks ago

addiction, funny word, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, personality trait, trait, word

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WeChat this month:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

88 shares on Telegram this month:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Breaking via Instagram:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Just shared via Threads:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Going viral on WeChat:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Breaking via Facebook:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Overthinkaholic!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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