Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, if Felony Vandalism is a girl's name, she must be quite the mischief-maker 🎨🚓👩‍🎨. Watch out for those spray cans and sharpies! Who knew that breaking the law could sound so elegant and daring at the same time? 🌟

beautiful, beauty, felony, girl, humor, irony, name, vandalism

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

2 days ago
alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still
When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

1 month ago
animals, biblical, humor, i, Noah, perspective, realize, wisdom, world
A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

1 month ago
before, contribution, crypto, crypto trader, ethic, every, garbageman, humor, lifetime, lunch, op-ed, op-ed writer, single, society, trader, work, work ethic, writer
I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

2 months ago
again, daily, daily life, decision, fall, humor, i, jeans, life, lifestyle, morning, morning routine, over, parkour, routine, struggle
I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

1 month ago
humor, i, identify, identity, jackson, joke, michael, Michael Jackson, pronoun, pronouns, wordplay
I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

1 month ago
2, 5, being, explain, humor, i, love, nap, Saturday, single

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Going viral on YouTube:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Making waves on X:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Just landed via Instagram:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏