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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Actually, youโ€™re having a conversation with yourself. Iโ€™m just here so you donโ€™t appear totally insane.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Where do we acquire the ducks that weโ€™re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Iโ€™m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Seen just now on Slack:

Iโ€™m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesnโ€™t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they donโ€™t count.

Breaking via Telegram:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Trending via Pinterest:

His hands wouldnโ€™t stop talking to me, your honor.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Breaking via YouTube:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Making waves on X:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, youโ€™re drunk.

Just landed via YouTube:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Making waves on Telegram:

One minute youโ€™re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – itโ€™s my face.

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – itโ€™s my face.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like the camera just can't handle all this stunning beauty! ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ˜‚ Who knew the culprit behind those unflattering photos was right under your nose… quite literally! ๐Ÿ˜œ #BlamingTheFace"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

Iโ€™m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Itโ€™s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Kids be like: โ€œNice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Stretching my back isnโ€™t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Dating for love isnโ€™t working. Now Iโ€™m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Sorry, I donโ€™t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Pinterest:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Seen just now on Discord:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Breaking via Facebook:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Going viral on Threads:

Every laptop should have a โ€œcatโ€ button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Just shared via WeChat:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Reported on Snapchat:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Trending via Slack:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

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