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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Plants are like โ€œIโ€™ll have a light lunch.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

People thinking youโ€™re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like โ€œyou have to eat the entire potato salad.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Coffee doesnโ€™t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Snapchat:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Making waves on Twitch:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Breaking via Telegram:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Trending via Twitch:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Just landed via Twitch:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Live now on TikTok:

If hot showers arenโ€™t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Humorous quote about procrastinating on fridge chores and avoiding vegetable rebellion.
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Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired pepper at a time! ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ๐Ÿฅฆ Maybe we should form a UN (United Nibblers) to prevent future veggie uprisings! ๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿฅ• #FridgeWars"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as โ€œinteresting.โ€

69 shares on Discord this month:

โ€œFox Mulderโ€ is an aggressively sexy name.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really donโ€™t have to tell them.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Live now on Slack:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Going viral on X:

I love diss tracks because itโ€™s basically two dudes going, โ€œgrr, we hate each other so much weโ€™re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!โ€

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Breaking via Instagram:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Making waves on TikTok:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Just shared via Pinterest:

IKEA is the swedish word for โ€œrelationship meltdown in a public place.โ€

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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