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Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired pepper at a time! 🌶️🥦 Maybe we should form a UN (United Nibblers) to prevent future veggie uprisings! 🥒🥕 #FridgeWars"

around, before, cleaning, drawer, food, fridge, humor, independence, movement, procrastination, something, vegetable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

53 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Seen just now on Threads:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Going viral on Messenger:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Just shared via Messenger:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Live now on WeChat:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨