Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Just landed via TikTok:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Going viral on Reddit:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Shared recently on X:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Just landed via Telegram:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, talk about a morbid way to announce bankruptcy 💸💀 Let's hope the afterlife has better interest rates! 😉🔄"

away, dark, dark humor, expense, financial, humor, i, joke, money, passing, reasons

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, humor, i, irony, listening, me, myself, repeat, sarcasm
If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

0

2 months ago

behavior, funny idea, giant, giant house, house, humor, idea, keys, own, ownership, people, perception, social, social behavior, think
Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

0

2 months ago

adventure, Friday, fun, hello, humor, matter, money, taxi, weekend
Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, funny moment, humor, just, karaoke, moment, motionless, panther, performance, pink, Pink Panther, song, stage, standing, theme, theme song, time
Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

0

3 months ago

5th, 5th base, base, dating, describe, flirting, humor, i, kiss, me, only, romance, someone, tongue, tongue kiss
Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

0

2 months ago

actually, customer, customer service, customers, facade, fake, fake laugh, humor, job, job skill, laugh, laughing, professional, professional facade, service, skill, social, social skill, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

82 shares on X this month:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

34 shares on Slack this month:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

30 shares on X this month:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

68 shares on X this month:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Spotted on Facebook:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨