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Commentary:
"Trying to spiral into control is like attempting to nail Jell-O to a wall 🌀🙃. Good luck with that chaotic journey! Maybe start with baby steps, like organizing your sock drawer first 🧦😜."

control, expectations, humor, ID, irony, life, once, self-control, spiral

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

0

15 hours ago

blown, humor, smithereens, wordplay, worst
This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

0

2 months ago

carrying, collaboration, dead, dead weight, economy, expense, expensive, here, hustler, leech, teamwork, together, too, weight, working
“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

0

2 months ago

disagreement, humor, individuality, mind, never, own, sarcasm, translation, wrong
I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

0

2 months ago

animal, car, end, escape, humor, i, ID, joke, penguin, pet, shift, work, workplace, zoo
People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

0

2 months ago

answer, ask, crazy, honesty, humor, people, question, scared, yes
My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

0

2 months ago

country, country music, dental, dental visit, dentist, double, humor, music, music preference, pain, preference, torture, visit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

65 shares on X this month:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Breaking via Instagram:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Trending via Discord:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Live now on X:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Going viral on Twitch:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Shared recently on Threads:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Making waves on Threads:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨