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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Breaking via Facebook:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

2 months ago

0

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you can be woken up by the heavenly duo of sizzling bacon and aromatic coffee? 🥓☕️ Ah, the sweet symphony of breakfast calling your name! Forget ringing bells, give me that delicious wake-up call any day! 😋☀️"

alarm, alarm clock, bacon, breakfast, clock, coffee, food, forget, give, just, me, morning, smell, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

0

5 months ago

being, being somewhere, going, going home, home, honesty, humor, i, introvert, mean, obligation, relatable, say, social, social obligation, somewhere, want
I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, comparison, humor, self-deprecating, Temu, version, well-functioning
Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

0

5 months ago

everything, heroine, humor, midweek, novel, questioning, questions, reflection, stares, Wednesday, where, window
Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

0

2 months ago

30, beating, break, came, frustration, humor, lunch, management, minute, needs, time, time management, workplace
All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, bad, being, boil, existential, humor, life, me, problems, self-reflection, struggles
Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, dating, doing, friendship, girls, humor, humor quote, Instagram, jealousy, media, never, relationship, social, social media, something, soon, stop, unfollow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Please hesitate to reach out.

43 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

28 shares on Slack this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

63 shares on X this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Going viral on Reddit:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Making waves on Telegram:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Live now on Pinterest:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Just landed via Slack:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

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