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Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you can be woken up by the heavenly duo of sizzling bacon and aromatic coffee? 🥓☕️ Ah, the sweet symphony of breakfast calling your name! Forget ringing bells, give me that delicious wake-up call any day! 😋☀️"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

1 month ago
brand, excited, excitement, faking, humor, motivation, new, positivity, super, week, work
If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

2 months ago
argument, charts, data, humor, i, prepare, prepared, prove, research, run, wrong
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

1 month ago
capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

2 months ago
animal, call, communication, conference, conference call, hold, humor, mouse, phone, pun, put, squeakerphone
Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

1 month ago
better, bicycle, buy, car, cry, crying, happiness, humor, irony, materialism, money, sports, sports car, wealth
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

1 month ago
30, best, dessert, eating, humor, ice cream, kids, lessons, parenting, tax, teach

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

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America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Just shared via X:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Just landed via Messenger:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Making waves on WeChat:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Just shared via Facebook:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

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Activity Log ✨

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

In banana years, I am bread.

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

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Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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