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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Going viral on Discord:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Spotted on X:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Live now on TikTok:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Just shared via Twitch:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Going viral on Discord:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Just landed via YouTube:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Live now on Threads:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

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