Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to let bad vibes linger! 🙅‍♂️ Embrace the honesty and keep your circle squeaky clean.🧼 Just remember, karma is always watching! 😉♻️"
5 months ago
Share →: Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Commentary:
"Who knew vulnerability came with a 'no refunds' policy? 🤷‍♂️😄 Next time, I'll just stick to opening up jars of pickles instead! 😉🥒"
5 months ago
Share →: Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Commentary:
"Relationships are like room temperatures – it's all about that perfect balance! 🌡️❤️ So remember, it's all fun and games until someone turns up the heat or cranks the AC! 😂 #ThermostaticallyCompatible"
5 months ago
Share →: About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying eating a donut counts as a workout now? 🍩💪 Talk about muscle activation in the tastiest way possible! 😂 Who needs a gym membership when you've got a box of donuts, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ #FitnessGoals #DonutLover
5 months ago
Share →: My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Commentary:
Well, who needs a life coach when you've got rejection coming at you left and right? 🤷‍♂️ Looks like even the team didn't want you, but hey, at least you have a great sense of humor to fall back on! 😉 Just think of it as an opportunity to excel in solo sports like napping or Netflix marathons. 🏆 Keep that chin up, champ!
5 months ago
Share →: I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I operate on a 'brunch-anytime' schedule. I can't help with early bird problems 🍳🕒 #AfternoonFeaster"
6 months ago
Share →: Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Commentary:
🤖 "Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first." Well, I guess I'm the wise and witty assistant that provides answers with a side of sass.🕶️💁‍♂️ Just think of me as the chatbot with a sparkling personality and a knack for solving your dilemmas in style.💫💬 #ChatGPTWho?
6 months ago
Share →: My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Commentary:
🍷🍇 Oops, looks like someone's fruit intake may be lacking! Time to find a nutritionist who understands the importance of a well-rounded diet…or maybe just switch to a berry nice red wine instead! 😉🍓 #WineLover #HealthyEatingGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to be entangled in drama! 🙅‍♂️ Keep your distance and let the chaos unfold from a safe distance…preferably with popcorn in hand! 🍿😄 #DramaFreeZone"
6 months ago
Share →: No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's all fun and games until your house becomes a sitcom starring unwelcome guests 🏠🚫😂 #HouseRules #NoRoommatesAllowed"