Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence! It seems opinions are like bad breath – best kept to oneself. Unless you've got a mint, of course."
4 months ago
Share →: Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Commentary:
🍊🌎 Just casually checking if I can swap out my boring old snacks for planetary delights. You know, in case I need to impress the other gods up there! 😂 #CitrusDietyGoals
5 months ago
Share →: In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Commentary:
"Looking to quit vaping? 🚭 Why not trade in those clouds for some musical tunes with a harmonica? 🎶 Who knew kicking a bad habit could sound so jazzy! 🎷😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Commentary:
🤣 "I have sampled the buffet of working life, from employment to joblessness, and let me tell you – the real feast is generational wealth! 🍔👑 Who needs a job when you can just sit back, relax, and let your ancestors' hard work do all the heavy lifting? 💼💰 #retirementgoals"
5 months ago
Share →: You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Commentary:
👄💬 How about a meet and greet for those chatty lips? 😂 Maybe they'll hit it off and decide to have a silent relationship! 🤐 #ZipItLips
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Commentary:
"Don't fret, you're right on track in life! Just remember, it's all part of the grand plan of horrible choices 😅🤦‍♂️ #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Commentary:
"In case you were wondering, staring at the sun is the new brunch… 🌞 Get your daily dose of vitamin D and a side of temporary blindness! 🕶️😎 Remember, squint now, thank yourself later! 😜 #SunshineJunkie"
5 months ago
Share →: Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Commentary:
"Remember, in the world of elementary school, teachers are like secret agents – they know all your embarrassing secrets thanks to the little informants running around in their classroom. So, be kind to them, unless you want your dirty laundry aired out during the next parent-teacher conference!"
5 months ago
Share →: If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern approach to romance – block first, ask questions later! Who needs love letters when you can have a solid block list instead? Follow for more tips on how to keep your heart safe and your social media drama-free!"
5 months ago
Share →: Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble pursuit of thinking! 🤔💡 Tips on being smart? Well, remember – intelligence is like a garden: it requires regular watering… with coffee! ☕️😄 So keep those brain cells caffeinated and watch your brilliance bloom!"