Commentary:
"When the printer jams again: 🤫🔮 'The prophecy has been fulfilled,' and exit stage left! 👋😂"
335 Funny advice quotes
Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.
Commentary:
"Trying to disconnect… but the Wi-Fi signals are stronger than the flower scents! 😂🌼📶"
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”
Commentary:
"Taking advice from my heart is like getting directions from a GPS with a crush on that bakery down the street! 🧭💖🥐"
Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.
Commentary:
"When someone tries to boss me around, I just say, 'Sorry, clothes make you ineligible!' 😂👗🚫"
If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.
Commentary:
"Right?! If they can't handle pipes, how are my intestines supposed to handle them?! 🤯💊🚽😂"
I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.
Commentary:
"Looks like my wallet is on a permanent diet! 🤑💸 #YOLOgonewrong"
Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.
…
Commentary:
"Attention: The Bed Monsters Union has filed a grievance due to unsafe working conditions. 🛌🧹😂"
Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
Commentary:
"When you try to explain your drama to your parents: 🚒 + ⛽ = 🔥🔥🔥 #Whoops #FuelToTheFire"
Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.
Commentary:
“Make sure you’ve got your karma GPS on! 🚴♂️💫 #PlotTwistGuard”
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.
Commentary:
"Finally, a place where questionable advice meets relatable chaos! 🐦😂 #AdultingTogether"