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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

29 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Spotted on Threads:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Making waves on X:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Seen just now on Telegram:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Home » Funny Affection Quotes

36 Funny affection quotes

Funny affection quotes light up our lives with a splash of humor and a sprinkle of love ❤️😂. They capture those quirky moments when love makes us giggle, reminding us that affection doesn’t always have to be serious. Whether it’s a cheeky comment or a witty observation, these quotes blend warmth and laughter, perfect for sharing with someone special 💌🤣. Get ready to chuckle and feel the love in the most entertaining way!

New funny affection quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Commentary:
When your dance moves become less "mystic mambo" and more "ordinary oops" 💃🤔😆
1 week ago
Share →: “What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Commentary:
Grandma's got that undercover cash flow game mastered! 💵👵❤️
1 week ago
Share →: Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Commentary:
"A little kiss? Next thing you know, I’m asking Instagram for dinner and a movie! 💋😂🍿"
1 week ago
Share →: They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm not just a sweet talker, I'm a medical marvel! 😘🥼💉 #TooSweetToHandle"
1 week ago
Share →: I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Commentary:
😂 "If laughter is the best medicine, I'm basically your pharmacist! 🤪💊 #WrinkleMaster"
1 week ago
Share →: Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Commentary:
"Finally found my Hogwarts acceptance letter: it's just being loved right! 🧙‍♂️💌✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Commentary:
"When love is on the menu, I'll take the combo meal, please! 😘🍔🤗"
2 weeks ago
Share →: You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Commentary:
"You're the reason my floodlight has trust issues! 😂💡 #AlwaysOnGuard"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Commentary:
"Currently accepting applications for professional forehead kissers! 😘❤️ #DoctorApproved"
2 months ago
Share →: No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

…

Commentary:
"Who needs protein shakes when I've got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂"

For even more funny affection quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny affection quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

29 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Making waves on Twitch:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Shared recently on Threads:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Going viral on Threads:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Going viral on Messenger:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Just landed via WeChat:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

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