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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Trending via Slack:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just shared via X:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Going viral on Reddit:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Trending via Facebook:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

59 Funny affection quotes

Funny affection quotes light up our lives with a splash of humor and a sprinkle of love ❤️😂. They capture those quirky moments when love makes us giggle, reminding us that affection doesn’t always have to be serious. Whether it’s a cheeky comment or a witty observation, these quotes blend warmth and laughter, perfect for sharing with someone special 💌🤣. Get ready to chuckle and feel the love in the most entertaining way!

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All funny affection quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Twitch this month:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news is really breaking me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Making waves on Telegram:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Spotted on Messenger:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Spotted on Messenger:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Just landed via Telegram:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

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