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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Trending via TikTok:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Just shared via Twitch:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Trending via Telegram:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Breaking via Discord:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Live now on TikTok:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Just landed via Snapchat:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Seen just now on Threads:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Reported on Reddit:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Shared recently on Discord:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Spotted on Discord:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

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