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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Trending via Threads:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Live now on YouTube:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Just shared via Reddit:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Making waves on X:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Making waves on Twitch:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Just landed via Discord:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Going viral on X:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Just shared via Messenger:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Trending via X:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

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