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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Making waves on Slack:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Going viral on Instagram:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Making waves on Telegram:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Just landed via Discord:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Just landed via Messenger:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Trending via Slack:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Spotted on WeChat:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Making waves on X:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just landed via YouTube:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Going viral on TikTok:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

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