Home » Funny Breathing Quotes

11 Funny breathing quotes

Trending Funny Breathing Quotes 🔥

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?
The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.
Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.
Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.
I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

New funny breathing quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Breathe dramatically into the phone to assert dominance 😤📞 #HeavyBreathingChampion"
2 months ago
Share →: That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle when you can hear their annoying breaths from a mile away… 🙄😆 It's like the universe is playing a cruel joke on you! 🤦‍♂️ Just remember, deep breaths, you got this! 😂 #AwkwardEncounters"
2 months ago
Share →: Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Commentary:
"Who knew that simply breathing through our nose was a luxury we took for granted? 🤧 Appreciating the simple joys in life, one clear nostril at a time! 😂 #BlockedNoseStruggles"
4 months ago
Share →: Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate movie-watching challenge: playing detective to catch those pesky breathing actors in action! Who knew being nosy could be so morbidly entertaining?"
5 months ago
Share →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Commentary:
Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! 🙅‍♂️🛒 Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! 😂💸 #NeedMySpace
5 months ago
Share →: Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Commentary:
Ah, the simple joys of multi-nostril breathing, a skill reserved for the carefree days of youth! 🌬️😄 Perhaps it's a sign that adulting is getting a bit too stuffy? Just imagine the possibilities if we could still pull off that nostril multitasking feat today! 🤔😂 #NostalgicNostrils
5 months ago
Share →: How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Commentary:
Well, it appears this submarine is playing a classic game of hide and seek with oxygen – breathe in, breathe out, oops where did it go? 🌬️🤷‍♂️ Seems like they need a lesson in keeping track of their precious gas or it might end up being a case of "One breath in, two breaths out, one oxygen tank gone!" 🤦🤣
5 months ago
Share →: The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Commentary:
"Looks like we need to fast forward a few years before we break out those laborious breathing exercises! Don't want to hyperventilate too early, right? 😅🌬️ #TimingIsEverything"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Commentary:
Looks like you've got the rare superpower of nasal superiority in a realm filled with mouth-breathers! 🌬️😂 Breathe in that sweet victory, my fellow nostril ninja! #NosePower
5 months ago
Share →: I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Commentary:
"Who needs commas when you've got attitude and sass like that? 💁‍♀️ Breathing is overrated anyways, just wing it like the grown adult you are! 😂 #NoCommasNoProblem"