14 Funny breathing quotes

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

  Commentary:
  Can't believe they spent so many years holding their breath! 😂💨

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a typical day of Olympics-level adulting! 😅🥇💤

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic love saga: from "you take my breath away" to "why are you breathing?" 🤦‍♂️❤️

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

  Commentary:
  "Pro tip: Breathe dramatically into the phone to assert dominance 😤📞 #HeavyBreathingChampion"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the struggle when you can hear their annoying breaths from a mile away… 🙄😆 It's like the universe is playing a cruel joke on you! 🤦‍♂️ Just remember, deep breaths, you got this! 😂 #AwkwardEncounters"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that simply breathing through our nose was a luxury we took for granted? 🤧 Appreciating the simple joys in life, one clear nostril at a time! 😂 #BlockedNoseStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate movie-watching challenge: playing detective to catch those pesky breathing actors in action! Who knew being nosy could be so morbidly entertaining?"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! 🙅‍♂️🛒 Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! 😂💸 #NeedMySpace

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the simple joys of multi-nostril breathing, a skill reserved for the carefree days of youth! 🌬️😄 Perhaps it's a sign that adulting is getting a bit too stuffy? Just imagine the possibilities if we could still pull off that nostril multitasking feat today! 🤔😂 #NostalgicNostrils

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

  Commentary:
  Well, it appears this submarine is playing a classic game of hide and seek with oxygen – breathe in, breathe out, oops where did it go? 🌬️🤷‍♂️ Seems like they need a lesson in keeping track of their precious gas or it might end up being a case of "One breath in, two breaths out, one oxygen tank gone!" 🤦🤣

For even more funny breathing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny breathing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌