Wordgag ツ

Jan 26, 2025
Share →: I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom from a harmonica connoisseur: Buying a used harmonica is like sharing a toothbrush, just don't do it! 🎶🚫 #MusicHumor #HygieneFirst"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Commentary:
🎅🏼 "Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff." 🤣 Looks like someone is mastering the art of independence and self-reliance! Who needs Santa when you've got your own shopping skills? 🛍️💁‍♂️ Just remember to treat yourself extra nice this holiday season – you deserve it! 😉✨
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: ‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Commentary:
"Who needs 'Sex with your ex' when you can have a bestseller? Take a page out of the history books instead of re-reading old chapters 😉📚 #MovingOnUp"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "I like my cookware handles to double as a hot yoga session" approach! 🔥🧘‍♂️ Because who needs fingerprints when you can have hand-shaped sear marks instead, am I right? 🤣🍳 #HotHandleClub
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Commentary:
"Ah, the 'buy one, get one body free' deal! 🛍️💃 Who wouldn't love to upgrade their wardrobe *and* their figure in one go? 😄💁‍♂️ #FashionForwardThinking"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Commentary:
Me: *finds the perfect item of clothing* Fashion industry: "That was so last season, darling! 🤷‍♀️💁‍♂️ #FashionForward"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Commentary:
💸💡 "In order to protect your precious bank account from the dangers of impulsive spending, why not enlist the services of a wise old bridge troll? Their riddles will keep your wallet safe and your budget in check! Just remember, if the answer to the riddle is 'buy now, buy later, or buy never,' maybe reconsider that purchase! 🌉🧙‍♂️"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joy of finding a note that magically transforms your impulsive purchases into 'planned essentials' 🛍️💸 Home sweet organized chaos!"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of trying to decode the mysterious code of ‘what she really wants’ 🤔! Maybe this year, you can dazzle her with a gift so unexpected, it’ll have her questioning whether you’ve been living in an alternate dimension all this time 🚀💫! Who needs the conventional when you’ve got a gift that screams, ‘I meant well, I really did’ 😉💝?"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Commentary:
Oh, don't even think about getting my book on reverse psychology! 📚🙅‍♂️ I mean, seriously, who would want to read a book that they're explicitly being told not to buy? The irony levels are off the charts with this one! Just kidding, but seriously, don't buy it! 😉