Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

3 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Just shared via Facebook:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Trending via Discord:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Shared recently on Slack:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Going viral on Discord:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Trending via Pinterest:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Spotted on YouTube:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Home » Funny Calling Off Quotes

Funny calling off quotes

New funny calling off quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic work-week illusion! 😅 Just like a magic trick—"Now you see the hours, now you don’t." 😂✨ Call off and suddenly those 8 hours turn into 8 seconds of bliss! 🕒☀️ Who knew productivity could be so optional?

For even more funny calling off quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny calling off quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

3 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Making waves on Threads:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Just shared via Slack:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴