74 Funny celebration quotes

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  1 day ago

  Share →: Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

  Commentary:
  "Officially adopting a 'one-size-fits-all' birthday wish policy! 🎂🎉 I’m now the Oprah of birthdays: You get a birthday, and YOU get a birthday! 😅💌"

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  7 days ago

  Share →: I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

  Commentary:
  🎉😂 "Sounds like you're about to break some cake-smashing records instead of laws! Keep up the clean streak! 🎂🚓"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a math equation I can get behind: fewer friends = more cake! 🎂🍰😋 #CakeEconomics"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Living the trilogy of life: hydrate like a champ, caffeinate like you're on a deadline, and celebrate like it's 5 o'clock somewhere! 🥤☕️🥂"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'Mother’s Day breakfast surprise'—where the surprise is that she still has to make it! 😅🍳🌷"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

  Commentary:
  Oh, birthdays and one night stands – fleeting but memorable moments that we sometimes prefer to forget! 🎉🙈 Growing older can sometimes feel like playing a game where you hit the "ignore" button every time your birthday pops up. 🎂😜 After all, denial is a form of anti-aging, right? Here's to celebrating birthdays the way you want, or not celebrating them at all! 🎈🥳 #ForeverYoungInSpirit

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, why do we have to pretend we're all responsible adults working on a Monday instead of body-slamming each other in the ring? 🤼‍♂️🎉 #WrestlemaniaHolidayNeeded"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

  Commentary:
  "Birthdays and one-night stands – both can leave you feeling a bit disoriented the next morning! 🎉💔 Just brush off those pesky numbers like last night's regrettable choice and carry on ✨🥳"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

  Commentary:
  "Kudos to those whose Christmas decorations are still up! You're not late, you're just early for next year. Keep spreading that festive cheer year-round!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here's to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what's behind us."

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