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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Making waves on WeChat:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Trending via Telegram:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Trending via Telegram:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Just landed via WeChat:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

103 Funny celebration quotes

Funny celebration quotes bring the party vibes — with a big side of laughter! 🎉😂 Whether it’s throwing a party for making it through Monday, celebrating tiny wins like finding matching socks, or going all out for a half-birthday, these quotes remind us that *any* excuse to celebrate can be hilariously over-the-top. Because life’s too short not to party about the weird stuff! 😆🎂🥳

New funny celebration quotes 👇

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All funny celebration quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

24 shares on X this month:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

49 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just shared via WeChat:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Making waves on Discord:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Freshly posted on Threads:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Just landed via X:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Making waves on TikTok:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Making waves on Reddit:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

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