Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just landed via Reddit:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Trending via Telegram:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Making waves on Threads:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Funny cell phone bill quotes

New funny cell phone bill quotes 👇

All funny cell phone bill quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

65 shares on Slack this month:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

26 shares on Threads this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

22 shares on X this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready to try another planet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Trending via YouTube:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Just landed via Facebook:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

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