Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Commentary:
"Looks like Dry January couldn't weather the storm… Welcome to Sopping Wet February! ☔️💦 Who needs resolutions when you have raindrops to keep you hydrated, right? Let's make a splash this month! 🌧️💧"
5 months ago
Share →: This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Commentary:
Oh, how time flies! 👵🌙 Just like a superhero losing their powers, our ability to pull all-nighters vanishes into the abyss of adulthood. 💤🦸‍♂️ It's like our bodies hit the snooze button on staying up late! 😂 #AgingGracefully
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when idiot distribution was a bit more manageable 🤪🏞️ There's definitely a charm to the simplicity of having just one village idiot to deal with!
5 months ago
Share →: This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Commentary:
Oh, the harsh reality of aging and its impact on our once youthful energy levels! 🌙💤 It's like our bodies decide to hit the snooze button on staying up all night as we get older. 🚫🦉 Despite the transformation, we can still rock a bedtime routine like nobody's business! 💪😂 #NightOwlNoMore
5 months ago
Share →: Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Commentary:
"Stepping into a new barber's shop is like walking a tightrope without a safety net – you never know if you'll come out looking like James Bond or Jim Carrey! 💇‍♂️😅 #Barberphobia"
5 months ago
Share →: Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Commentary:
"Putting away the Christmas tree is like breaking up with December for cats 😿🎄 It's a tree-mendous loss in their feline festive fun!"
5 months ago
Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
5 months ago
Share →: My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they're used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let's hope this resolution doesn't go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe"
6 months ago
Share →: Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Commentary:
"Life motto: Be as adaptable as those people who change their faces as often as traffic lights change their lights 🚦💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #ChameleonChic"
6 months ago
Share →: We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Commentary:
Ahoy mateys! ⚓️ Looks like the pirate code has been updated – we're all about positive vibes and teamwork now! 🏴‍☠️ Walking the plank is so last century, let's sail together towards a more compassionate horizon (and save the dramatic exits for the movies)! 😉🌊 #PirateLifeUpgrade