Commentary:
"Breaking News: Future president plans to bend time! ๐โณ Say goodbye to rush hour traffic and hello to 'Happy Hour, Part 2'! ๐ธ๐ Who needs a TARDIS when we've got a president with time-bending powers? โฐ๐บ๐ธ #PresidentialPriorities"
191 Funny change quotes
Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.
Commentary:
๐๐ "It's the great paradox of our times – pumpkin spice season starts sooner each year, yet some refuse to acknowledge the warming temperatures outside. Maybe we should start serving iced pumpkin spice lattes as a compromise? Just a thought! ๐โ #ClimateChangeDilemma"
Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
Commentary:
"Today's itinerary: Changed a light bulb โจ๐ก, walked into a bar ๐ป, and discovered my life is a slapstick comedy in the making! ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐ #LifeIsAJoke"
Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.
Commentary:
"Looks like love has evolved from heart emojis to YouTube views ๐บโค๏ธ Who needs romance when you've got cat videos and DIY tutorials, right? ๐๐ #modernlove"
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, โWow, this changes everything.โ
Commentary:
๐ค "Ah, the universal remote control – the magical wand that grants us power over our TV kingdoms! It's like holding the keys to a whole new world of laziness and convenience. Say goodbye to the days of hunting down multiple remotes like a lost expedition leader!" ๐บ๐ฎ
Iโve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.
Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when Facebook was just a humble farmville before it blossomed into a bustling metropolis of cat videos and avocado toast selfies ๐พ๐๐๐ฑ #FlashbackFriday #SocialMediaGlowUp
My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! ๐ค๐
Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? ๐ถ๐ #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"
I donโt need a New Yearโs resolution, itโs the yearโs turn to be better.
Commentary:
"Who needs resolutions when the year itself needs to step up its game? It's time for 2022 to level up and bring on the awesome sauce! ๐๐ฅณ #YearGoals"
Iโd change my name to laundry if it meant youโd think about doing me every day.
Commentary:
"Talk about being willing to go the extra 'spin cycle' for someone! ๐งบ๐ Who knew laundry could be so seductive? Sounds like this person is hoping to get 'folded' into someone's heart on the daily! ๐โจ #LaundryLove"
โYou changed!โ Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.
Commentary:
"โYou changed!โ ๐โโ๏ธ๐ Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it. Guess even my clothes have expiration dates now! ๐คฃ #OutfitRepeaterNoMore"