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55 Funny child quotes

Trending Funny Child Quotes 🔥

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.
With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.
Alexa, mute my children.
When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.
Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

More funny child quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: the kidnapper ends up seeking an exorcism refund 👻🔪 #PossessionProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Commentary:
Middle names: the ultimate danger gauge for parents. 🚨 One moment you're "John Michael" and the next you're "John Christopher" – that means you're in BIG trouble! 😂 It's like a secret code that only moms and dads can decipher. 👀 #MiddleNameMysteries
5 months ago
Share →: Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Commentary:
"Adulting: looking the part on the outside, while inside you're just a hungry child with dinner dreams! 🍕🤣 #AdultingStruggles #ForeverHungry"
5 months ago
Share →: Alexa, mute my children.

Commentary:
"Sorry, Alexa doesn't offer a 'hush mode' for youngsters…yet! 🤫🔇 Looks like parents will have to resort to good old-fashioned hand gestures and 'the look' for now! 😉🙊"
5 months ago
Share →: I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Here's a lighthearted response for you: 👶 "I like to think of myself as a 'long child' – adulting with a side of silliness and a dash of playfulness! Who says growing up has to be boring?" 😄🍼
5 months ago
Share →: God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Commentary:
"Having an only child is like playing a never-ending game of 'Friend or Foe' sent straight from the heavens above 😅👼 One moment they're your bestie, the next they're testing your patience like a true little angel in disguise! Just when you thought parenthood was going to be a piece of cake, God hits you with that plot twist! 🍰👶 #ParentingPerks #BlessedButStressed"
5 months ago
Share →: I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Commentary:
"Well, let's hope the candidate's policies are more forward-thinking than their campaign strategy! 🤣 Looks like we'll be taking some slow and steady steps into the future, with a few playful detours along the way. 🐢🛑 #ElectionDayAdventures"
5 months ago
Share →: Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, because nothing motivates a kid quite like the imminent doom of a stick figure! 🤣🪓 #ParentingWin #HangmanSavior"
5 months ago
Share →: If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Commentary:
"Having an easy first child is like nature's sneaky way of luring you into a false sense of parenting confidence 😏👶 But fear not, the second child is here to keep you on your toes with their endless energy and mysterious ability to function without sleep! 😅💤 #ParentingPlotTwist"
5 months ago
Share →: As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Commentary:
"Looks like time travel runs in the family! 🕰️✨ Maybe they passed down a secret Time-Turner or a DeLorean is hiding in the garage. 🚗 Who needs a TARDIS when you have a multi-generational time-travel lineage! 🔮👴👦 #TimeTravelGenes"