98 Funny child quotes

• The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

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  2 months ago

  child, confusion, dog, family, humor, husband, noise, sleep, snoring, WTF

• Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

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  2 months ago

  after, challenge, child, fruit, fruits, great, humor, name, names, naming, real, vegetable

• Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

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  2 months ago

  annoying, appear, child, children, friend, friendship, humor, i, parenting, regret

• The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

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  2 months ago

  child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told

• My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

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  2 months ago

  ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something

• Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

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  2 months ago

  appear, breakdown, child, edge, humor, legend, mistake, nervous, nervous breakdown, overwhelmed, parenting, sandwich, small, stress, tell, wrong

• I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

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  2 months ago

  birth, child, child birth, daily, daily life, family, faster, humor, i, kid, life, motherhood, parenting, put, speed

• Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

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  2 months ago

  being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole

• I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

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  2 months ago

  child, correction, disappointed, disappointment, education, family, help, home, homework, humor, i, incorrect, kid, parent

• I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

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  2 months ago

  am, child, contact, cutting, distance, family, humor, i, narcissist, nephew, relationship, sarcasm, social, social distance

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