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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Going viral on Facebook:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Breaking via Messenger:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Live now on Threads:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Breaking via WeChat:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Breaking via Slack:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Funny crew quotes

Funny crew quotes bring all the laughter and good vibes to any team! 😂 Whether you’re sailing through work projects or just hanging with your ride-or-die squad, these witty sayings capture that unbeatable crew spirit. 🚀👯‍♂️ Get ready to share some smiles, spark inside jokes, and celebrate the hilarious moments that make your crew truly one of a kind! 🎉⚓️ #TeamGoals #CrewLife

New funny crew quotes 👇

All funny crew quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Spotted on X:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Trending via Messenger:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Live now on Instagram:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Trending via Messenger:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

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