Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Trending via Reddit:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going viral on Instagram:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Just landed via X:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Just landed via Discord:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Spotted on X:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

2 weeks ago

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish
One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

2 weeks ago

comfort, cool, day, fashion, favorite, grocery, grocery store, humor, next, pants, realization, realize, store, sweatpants
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

2 weeks ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

2 weeks ago

day, good, humor, i, learning, looking, mistake, mistakes, optimism, procrastination, self-reflection, start, today, tomorrow
What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

2 weeks ago

confusion, date, day, enough, humor, i, procrastination, stress, time
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

2 weeks ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

2 weeks ago

bed, day, humor, i, irony, nighttime, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, think, thoughts, time
I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

2 weeks ago

day, expectation, fix, humor, i, irony, joke, just, paid, payment, road, should, ta, tax
There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

2 weeks ago

26, bigger, cooking, day, December, December 26, food, holiday, humor, microwave, Olympics
I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

2 weeks ago

day, download, half, i, Limewire, music, nostalgia, patience, song, technology, waiting

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

29 shares on X this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

69 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I only drink when I people.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Making waves on WeChat:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Going viral on YouTube:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Going viral on YouTube:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Going bananas on Instagram:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Just shared via Twitch:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Activity Log ✨

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨