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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Trending via Messenger:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Just landed via Telegram:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Freshly posted on X:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

1 week ago

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish
One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

1 week ago

comfort, cool, day, fashion, favorite, grocery, grocery store, humor, next, pants, realization, realize, store, sweatpants
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

1 week ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

1 week ago

day, good, humor, i, learning, looking, mistake, mistakes, optimism, procrastination, self-reflection, start, today, tomorrow
What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

1 week ago

confusion, date, day, enough, humor, i, procrastination, stress, time
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

1 week ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

1 week ago

bed, day, humor, i, irony, nighttime, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, think, thoughts, time
I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

1 week ago

day, expectation, fix, humor, i, irony, joke, just, paid, payment, road, should, ta, tax
There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

1 week ago

26, bigger, cooking, day, December, December 26, food, holiday, humor, microwave, Olympics
I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

1 week ago

day, download, half, i, Limewire, music, nostalgia, patience, song, technology, waiting

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

60 shares on Slack this month:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

64 shares on YouTube this month:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Just landed via Messenger:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Going bananas on X:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Live now on TikTok:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Activity Log ✨

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨