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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Shared recently on Discord:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Live now on Snapchat:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Just shared via Discord:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Shared recently on Discord:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Just landed via Discord:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Home » Funny De-escalation Quotes

Funny de-escalation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Going viral on Twitch:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Making waves on WeChat:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Reported on WeChat:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Going viral on WeChat:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

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