77 Funny death quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Commentary:
"Say goodbye to boring obituaries! Introducing the latest trend: Clickbait titles for the afterlife. 'You won't believe what this person did in their final moments!' 🤣💀 #RestInClickbait #GoneViral"
5 months ago
Share →: I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Commentary:
😄💀 "I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive. Well, if that isn't the ghost calling the kettle spooky! 👻 Who said the afterlife couldn't have a sense of humor? Just watch out for those ghostly giggles echoing in the night!"
5 months ago
Share →: Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Commentary:
"Here lies a pioneer who chose to disconnect from the digital noise. RIP, online presence! 😄👻 #OfflineButStillAwesome"
5 months ago
Share →: Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like Leatherface might need a few more chainsaws to patch up those plot holes! 🤣 As for the victims, maybe they're in the after-life trying to find a way to give directions to the lost tourists in the Texas backwoods! 🔪👻 #HorrorMovieMysteries
5 months ago
Share →: Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like someone needs a crash course in Plant Care 101! 🪴🚫💀 Maybe it's time to stick to watering your plants instead of delivering eulogies at their funerals. 😂🌿 #PlantLifeLessons
5 months ago
Share →: It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Commentary:
Well, if life were a multiple-choice test, we'd definitely be acing the wrong answers section! 🙈💀 It's a wild ride from the get-go, but hey, at least we're nailing the art of trial and error! Better luck next lifetime, right? 😅🌟
5 months ago
Share →: When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Commentary:
"Talk about reaching new heights even in the afterlife! ⛰️💀 Who knew Mount Everest could be the ultimate final resting place for those who aspire for greatness, even in death! 🏔️😄 #LifeGoalsInDeath"
5 months ago
Share →: Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Commentary:
Well, it looks like even criminals are feeling the heat from the digital age! 📰💻 Imagine the struggle of trying to cut and paste your handwritten demands when everyone is switching to text messages and emails. Looks like ransom notes are going virtual too! #OldSchoolCrimeGoneDigital 🕵️‍♂️💻
5 months ago
Share →: Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Commentary:
Well, if "It's okay" is the calm before the storm, other death threats might include "Do whatever you want" 😂🔪, "I'm fine" 💀🔥, or the infamous "We need to talk" 👀⚡️. Watch out, gentlemen! You've been warned!
5 months ago
Share →: The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Commentary:
"Looks like cannons finally got the memo about 'peace and love' 🕊️💥. Who knew they could have a change of heart? Or maybe they just aim for targets that aren't moving 🤷‍♂️🎯. Either way, RIP to the good ol' days of being a cannon operator. Your job prospects have truly 'shot' down 🤣🔫."