Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Going bananas on Messenger:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Just shared via Messenger:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Going viral on Threads:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Funny disobedience quotes

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All funny disobedience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on X this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

29 shares on X this month:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

50 shares on X this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We decided to have money instead of children.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Seen just now on Discord:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Making waves on Telegram:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Trending via Instagram:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

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