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10,000+ funny quotes

99 Funny dog quotes

Funny dog quotes celebrate the lovable and often hilarious antics of our furry friends! From goofy behaviors to charming quirks, these quotes capture the joy and humor that dogs bring into our lives. Enjoy a laugh as you reflect on the delightful world of canine companionship!

5 months ago
View →: If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.
5 months ago
View →: Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.
5 months ago
View →: The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.
5 months ago
View →: I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.
5 months ago
View →: I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.
5 months ago
View →: I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.
5 months ago
View →: Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.
5 months ago
View →: My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.
5 months ago
View →: There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.
5 months ago
View →: Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.
5 months ago
View →: My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.
5 months ago
View →: My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.
5 months ago
View →: Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.
5 months ago
View →: I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?
5 months ago
View →: When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.
5 months ago
View →: I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.
5 months ago
View →: Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.
5 months ago
View →: All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.
5 months ago
View →: I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.
5 months ago
View →: I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.
5 months ago
View →: I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.
5 months ago
View →: If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.
5 months ago
View →: A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.
5 months ago
View →: If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.
5 months ago
View →: I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.
5 months ago
View →: I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.
5 months ago
View →: Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.
5 months ago
View →: My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.
5 months ago
View →: You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.
5 months ago
View →: My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

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